Stay Awake

A while back I was out to dinner with some remarkable, wonderful and amazing women friends. After a few minutes of conversation the talk turned to antidepressants. A lot of people I know take antidepressants…I don’t know how to greet that sometimes. Not because I judge ANYONE harshly who takes ’em…but mostly because many many days I wonder if I ought to get myself some.

Then recently I spoke to a good friend who just tapered off of his “happy pills” and he said, “I just feel like I’m finally waking up.” This stuck to me…and it put these lyrics in my head and then my guitar had an idea about it too so we put those together and this is the result.
Once again…rough demo people…me and my laptop and pegging the red…but you get the idea:

Stay Awake adc 5/08
Tried to cram my trepidation
Into a vase on the table
But it just keeps spilling out
Maybe it’s time
that I decide
That life is just that messy

I’m beginning to wonder
If all I really need
Are some happy pills
To fill me up
But it’s all I can do
To stay awake
In the process
It’s all I can do
To stay awake

Hear those whispers in the corner
And the rumors that will follow
It’s all shadow and fog
Maybe it’s time
That I realize
That life is just this hard

So now I wonder
If all I can do
Is take happy pills
To get me through
All I need to do
Is stay awake
For the process
It’s all I want
To stay awake

Tried to pour out my soul
Into a box on the table
But it just keeps on climbing out
Maybe it’s time
That I realize
That souls are just this messy


2 thoughts on “Stay Awake

  1. Mrs M, your voice is positively golden. The chorus melody is very catchy. I appreciate the desire, voiced in this song, to feel what needs to be felt, even if it’s painful — so counter our culture that tells us that all pain is bad. Of course, pain doesn’t *feel* good. As a friend of mine says, “If it don’t hurt, it ain’t pain.” But it is sometimes necessary as an incentive for change.

    There is definitely a place in the world for anti-depressant medication, but it should not entirely take the place of working through any root causes of personal turmoil. Thank you for this artistic reminder and encouragement.

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