Just Wait

***caution****parenting rant****

I’m tired of fear talk. I’m tired of hearing people place their fears on top of me like a death shroud. I am especially tired of this as it pertains to my parenting. This is a friend who tells me all the horror stories of parenting. They are the “Oh, just wait” parents. The ones who temper all my good stories with, “Oh, just wait, they get worse…”

For example a dialogue like this:
me- “Oh, my gosh, Miles is hysterical…yesterday he wanted to ride the dog…”
her- “Yikes, you know that could really hurt the dog!”
me- “No, no…I was right there, I didn’t let him do it…the dog loves Miles.”
her- “Yeah, well, you know…that can turn the dog mean and then pretty soon he starts to bite little kids…”
me- “Erm….hey, so I gotta go….”

It’s this kind of “fear” thinking that makes me mental, as a parent. I’m all about the process of discernment as it concerns pretty much everything. I’ll ask questions, do research, seek advice and look for the best route as far as I’m able. I’m just not about “fear.” Discernment means walking INTO situations with eyes open, questions asked, heart studied, fear abated. It does not mean sitting around thinking about all the bad things that can happen. I can do all the research and ask all the advice I can muster but basically, in the end, I’m discovering it’s not really ALL I need to be an effective parent. I need more if I’m to live in the real authentic community I crave.

In the hard situations that surround parenting I needs lots of affirmation and encouragement sandwiched gently in love. I need that. So I’m giving that out…free of charge.

I’m starting this new trend….it’s my own version of “just wait.” I’m going to make sure to employ it, in particular with every new parent I meet. It will include statements such as, “Just wait….it gets even better.” and “Just wait, someday he’ll do that on his own and you’ll be so proud” and “Just wait, it won’t always be this hard.” I think I shall add an order of love while I’m at it.

That’s where I’m at on it these days.

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3 thoughts on “Just Wait

  1. amen. i love this. and i’ll look forward to being on the receiving end 🙂

    pee ess, jude is being christened on saturday, and she’s going to wear the dress you sent her!

    Yay Jude! Take some pictures of that sweet girl. She’s as beautiful as her mamas and her namesake…and that’s saying something. : )
    Also, I MUST be at this gathering taking place when you come to town. Ser.i.ous.ly
    Mrs M

  2. My mom comes from the generation of ‘what if’ and the ‘fear factor’ of negative repercussions. When I call her to chat out of the blue her first reactions “OMG whats wrong!” I always say, “Why does there have to be something wrong? And Why do you assume there is something wrong?”
    She usually doesn’t say anything at this point, its just part of her.

    When we bought our lovely daughter a skateboard for her birthday, my mom had a fit and started the “What if something happens, what if she gets hurt?” I then went onto tell my mom “We have bought all of the necessary safety equipment, pads, helmet, etc and she won’t be outside on the board without them.” Then my mom would still have some worrisome concerns. I love her and her need to worry I accept, but I always point out the positive stuff.

    You have one life to live and if you are always afraid of the ‘fear factor’ what kind of life is that? It will be over before it has begun.

    So I like your trend it has been one I have always lived by.

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