I’ll give you fair warning right here and now. This is going to be a little controversial, perhaps. In light of this I will tell you something important; I do care what you think and what you believe but I’m not asking to be enlightened theologically or socially at this point. I will hear your comments but I’d prefer that we all respect one another’s thoughts here, even if we do not agree, yes?
My new friend A. had a baby a few months ago, a beautiful baby girl. What makes this already remarkable event even more remarkable is, as she put it herself, that she managed to conceive this child without having had relations with a man. A. and her partner H. became proud parents and that got me to thinking about something that’s been bothering me lately.
What has been bothering me is this thinking I bump up against as I travel in my faith community that somehow A. and H. are living outside of God’s design…that somehow they are “living in sin” to coin the phrase.
Now, on the surface I guess I can see the logic here…mostly as it pertains to the design element…parts working together and all that. I’ve read the scripture passages that are cited. I’ve seen the exegesis of said passages. I know this is a typical way to view homosexuality in the “christian” church and generally I keep my own thoughts to myself on this subject. My personal view is that I’m called FIRST and FOREMOST to love the people who cross my path, lovable, unlovable…no matter what.
This is the thing, though. A. and H. are not at all unlovable. They are engaging, wise and wonderful women. They are committed, responsible, loving people. It’s easy to love them. It really is. Frankly, they are much easier for me to love than a whole lot of people I come into contact with who claim to live INSIDE of God’s design.
Someone said to me recently that “sin is sin” meaning that one person’s sin is no worse than anyone elses and I agree that’s true. Basically, we all have our “thing” with which we struggle, we all are living in sin to some degree. We can hardly help it.
Trouble is, here…I can’t see that my friends feel that they ARE living in sin because of their relationship, because of the person they choose to love. They would not put their choice of lifestyle in the same sin boat as say, Bob, the crazy porn addict. This is their life…to say that Love becomes sin in this case seems so incredibly wrong to me. I just don’t know what shaped box I’d put that into…frankly.
Now, I’ve said this before and I mean it…I am no theological scholar. I’m sure that 15 minutes in a small room with someone really “knowledgeable” on the subject as it pertains to Christianity would be very interesting but to be honest, I don’t really care because I still think that it is all about how we love each other.
I say that if you want to find out how you really feel about a controversial issue like this one, that you get in relationship with someone who walks that road. Once you know how to be in relationship with someone you find out what it means to really and truly love them…in the now…and in the true and in the real.
I would go so far as to say that you don’t GET to be opinionated about homosexual couples until you walk with someone who lives that lifestyle…until you hear their story with your own ears, until you reach across a table and take their hand. I say you don’t get to judge unless and until you do that.
That sounds wrong, yes…I know this. I know there are reams of reasons why people don’t like the idea of homosexuality. That’s OK with me. I don’t like the idea of minivans and soccer moms but I love those soccer moms and everyone else who drives a minivan just the same.
All I’m saying is this; choose love. Choose to overcome the fear of what you *think* being in relationship with someone who lives differently from you might bring. Just listen, put aside your judgement and your preconceived notion. Look at the rock in your hand and use it to build a bridge. It’s totally what Jesus would do. Totally.