It’s an odd time right now. Waiting to find out if we can move into Nashville, waiting for some new projects to hit so we can afford said move, waiting for the other shoe to drop on a number of fronts…but what is most present for me today is that I’m waiting on some injured relationships to come into healing.
Nothing is stand alone. Everything is connected. It all hinges so delicately on the piece that comes before and after. And so I’m waiting. I hate to wait. I’d much rather just order each piece according to my whim, tell everyone what to do to resolve all difficulties and damn the torpedos, full speed ahead. Sadly, damning torpedos is going to most likely just going to lead to an explosion that causes more casualties.
So, I’m treading carefully around those torpedos and I’m waiting. Idling slowly forward through troubled waters.
I do so in the name of love. It’s loving to wait for time to apply some salve and work it’s particular brand of magic. It’s honorable…
I’m certain…and it’s painful. I won’t lie. I hate it a lot and I miss my friend, a lot.
In this as in all things, though, I am Mrs Metaphor…I have to find the lesson here, I have to find the meaning or what is the point, really. If I don’t spend time looking at it in the context of big picture while grieving each passing moment then I’m more likely to move out of that place of love and into resentment city and that’s just no damn good.
So I wait and hope and issue tears and hope some more.