I wrote this poem a couple of weeks ago for a friend…

The thought I was coming from was that I love to be in friendships which are balanced…we can each lean into each other. So often, when I’m not healthy I get into friendships where I am rescuing someone else but then when it comes time for me to ask for help I am unable to do that, out of fear that this person, who I’ve come to see as fragile or helpless is unable to be there for me. I set myself up in that way, when I’m unhealthy.

So, in the last few years I’ve worked very hard and been intentional about asking for help early in friendships, about being vulnerable, being needy, being wherever I happen to be at that moment. It’s mostly worked out well and I’m thankful for the unbelievable friendships that have come to me. It’s not without risk, though. When it does not work out well I know I’m prone to injury. I know the pain that is implied in the growth of community and the growth of my self. Even this, I must embrace.


you know,
the vision I have
is this:
holding each other
not one offering
and the other
but rather
around the mid-section
on shoulders
crying a little
ready for the next
great thing
to come
afraid a little
that it might hurt
more than we hope

©2010 adc


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