epidural…

I keep intending to come ’round here and put up:

“watch this space, exciting things coming!” 

where blog posts might be just so that you’d know I was not giving you all the cold shoulder but have thought the better of it (until now, apparently.) This move to Chicago is happening in less than a week so things have been, shall we say, stressful?

I dreamt the other night that I kept almost falling over the railings of balconies. It happened over and over again. I’d walk out to a balcony and look over, nearly fall, count my lucky stars and back away from the edge. I’d be in a parking garage and nearly fall over the cement barrier. Even walking up a flight of stairs I’d see myself teetering toward the handrail. At one point in the dream I remember thinking, “it’s only one flight, I can make it.”

I’m pretty sure this emotional vertigo is presenting in dreams what I’m feeling in the daytime as we get set to move. Last night I laid in bed, wide eyed, thinking, “this might be a terrible mistake, this moving idea.”

Dave’s getting in on the angst. He dreamt that as we drove to Chicago Miles decided to play a joke and climbed up on the roof of the car. We didn’t notice til we got there and found him wild eyed, sun burned and wind blown clinging to the top of the car. Even the picture of this sends me into a panic and it wasn’t even my dream.

Nevertheless, it’s my fear too, that the kids will be lost in the shuffle (or on the roof of the car) not just in the short term but in the bigger picture as well. We hope that our move will be a good idea, that they’ll relearn the rhythm of the city, that they’ll not miss the green green grass of Nashville TOO much when we’re surrounded by brick and concrete. We hope we’ll all be able to keep connection with our sweet friends here in TN while adding new connections with our sweet friends in Chicago. It’s not a gamble really but a process of faith, a labor of life and limb and love. Transition is hard- but it’s the shortest part of labor…I know this and yet if one was offered to me I’d gladly take the emotional epidural.

 

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One thought on “epidural…

  1. Nah, don’t take the epidural, anything involving a birth process deserves to be experienced full on, then we reap the greatest benefits, and it becomes embedded in our soul as a valid experience here on earth. You all will do fine and so will the children. Will keep you in our prayers, and who knows, we may make it to Chicago for a visit sometime.

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