finding the bliss…

According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word, “bliss” is defined first and foremost as “complete happiness.” The suffix of “-dom” refers to a realm or jurisdiction.  In other words, when I attend the blogger/social media conference in Nashville this weekend called “Blissdom” I am essentially entering the kingdom of happiness.

I’ll take it.

I attended last year for the first time at the urging of my friend Calie (aka Broccoli Cupcake.) I confess that I did not want to go. I’m remarkably insecure in new settings and the list of amazing bloggers and Twitterati superstars was intimidating to say the least. I joked to those I knew at the conference that I would be lurking in the dark corners of the conference and I admit, I did a little of that. For the most part, however I found a niche, a track, a place to groove. At the risk of gushing I’ll just say that the Blissdom crew makes it easy. It was a party. I had fun.

This year finds me living in Chicago rather than Nashville, still homeschooling (this time with a high schooler,) starting a new blogging venture with Drama Free Fitness and facing the prospect of launching 2 self published books while pitching a third to a publisher. So, yeah, I’m busy and then the crazy kicks in even more with the “I ought to be…” buzzing in my head.

I ought to be promoting things more.

I ought to be following up on my relationships from last year.

I ought to be focused.

I ought to be preparing for what I’m doing there.

But each time I start to think about what I ought to be doing I fall into a mini panic attack and run screaming toward my two friends Ben and Jerry. If this keeps up I’m going to need to be brought into the conference by a semi tractor-trailer.

And so, I let it go, because I don’t want my life to be about getting ahead or increasing my Twitter followers or Facebook “likes.”  I need my life, my “bliss” to be about this present moment. I had this moment of clarity today as I pondered writing up a post around Blissdom for Mrs Metaphor, and a post for Blissdom on Drama Free Fitness and on DoxaSoma. I am spread so thin already, moments of clarity pierce my very skin and drive right into my vital organs.

I am about being present in this moment, in the now. That is who I want most to be. That is the epitome of my “bliss.” I can sit gazing at the pool and worry about the temperature, worry about the fit of my bathing suit, consider the ramifications and ripples made from my jumping in as I stare and plan and ponder but really, being there and jumping in, feeling the cool water on my hot skin, that’s where the moment resides. Being there, being fully present, that’s where I find my bliss.

This is why I am not going to plot out my time at this conference with any real intention and why I may look disheveled and lopsided when you run into me.  I’m not going to network. I’m not going to sweat the small stuff. I hope I wear matching socks but don’t be surprised if I don’t. I’m not going to worry about how my kids are destroying the house or think ahead to how much laundry I’ll need to do when I get back. I’m going to hold Blissdom to the meaning  of its awesome naming and work toward dwelling in the realm of happiness…this year, it means I’m winging it. I’ll raise a glass to all of our future successes certainly, but I am aiming squarely toward breathing deep the whispering wind of “ready” “yes” and “now” this weekend.

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