Day Twenty-Three: Christmas Trees

I kill trees.

Nearly Orthodox1


There’s a lot of discussion about how early people are beginning to decorate for the holiday season. I know people who put the tree up the moment the Thanksgiving turkey is cleared from the table and I know people who wait and bide their time where this is concerned. We always wait but it’s not for any deep or metaphorical apprehension of the season. It’s because I kill trees.

I kill trees and plants and flowers. It’s just something I do and while I don’t aspire to be a killer I just can’t seem to help myself. It’s pathological, I guess. Every single year for as long as I’ve had the means to put up a live tree I’ve made little deals with myself about how to keep the tree alive. I’ve read every article about the trick to sustaining the tree. I’ve solicited advice from friends and relatives. I’ve…

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