A View of a Wilderness: A Review of Angela Doll Carlson’s The Wilderness Journal

Good words for my latest words 🙂

Thoughts of a Metanoia Bum

The Philokalia– a collection of Orthodox spiritual texts written between the fourth and fifteenth centuries- is known for its influence, its wisdom, and its difficulty. It is the type of text that people advise to only read under the guidance of clergy, and not to read until one is prepared to think big.
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In Angela Doll Carlson‘s latest book, The Wilderness Journal: 365 Days with the Philokalia, she takes on the readings of the Philokalia, not only under a guide, but with the guidance of several others, each of whom writes an introduction to one of six featured spiritual fathers. Well-known writers and bloggers in the Orthodox world, such as Molly Maddex Sabourin and Summer Kinard, play a role in introducing the fathers to the reader.
Owning the joint context of living in the church year and season, combined with being what she refers to as…

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The Face of God

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Hi there all my lovelies,

I know it’s been a while since we last met up here on MrsMetaphor.com and I’m sorry about that! Someone told me once never to apologize for taking a long time to post on a blog but in this case, it seems legit.

Suffice it to say that I’ve been doing a bunch of other stuff, not the least of which is writing a few books. The latest comes out next week, in fact. So you know, there’s that.

But, you know, I’m not actually reaching out to you today to tell you about the new book. I’m reaching out to ask you to support another cause I’m working on.

Many of you know that I worked in film here in Chicago for a number of years. Last year I started working remotely with a digital publishing house in Vancouver called Bright Wing. I seriously love the work we do at Bright Wing. We have an incredible team and get to work on beautiful and life-giving books. What could be better than that?

Hm, maybe working on a beautiful and life-giving film about an important topic?

I’m happy to say that Bright Wing was hired over the summer to begin work on a documentary film on the topic of climate change. In particular, climate change and the Orthodox church, which as some of you know, is kind of my jam.

I’m writing today to ask, humbly, for your help. We’ve raised enough to get started on the work but we need to raise more to complete it. So right now you might be saying, “Geez, Ang, we don’t hear from you for months years and now you’re posting to ask us for monies??”

Yes. Yes, I am.

It’s a beautiful film. It’s an important topic. It’s close to my heart and feeds my soul and I hope that maybe, just maybe, it will resonate with you as well. It’s a lot to ask, I know, especially this time of year. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.

So, if it resonates, I hope you’ll share this post or the website or the IndieGogo campaign or the Instagram or Facebook posts. We need your help. We cannot finish it without you. If you’re so inclined, send us some pocket change. We will gratefully accept whatever you have to give. All efforts help. Small change can make all the difference.

Thank you all, in advance. I’m grateful for you, now and always.

-Mrs M/Angela

Click here to donate:

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Donate to our campaign here!

 

Shiplap

I have a new piece up on ArtHouse America today and I’m pretty stoked about that. I hope you get a chance to check it out if you’re a Fixer Upper fan.

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If you’re not a Fixer Upper fan then we gotta talk. How can I be friends with you if you’re not a Fixer Upper fan?? Come on, now.

Lookit, I’m even wearing one of my favorite tee shirts today to celebrate!

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In other news, I ought to have some news on a release date for my latest book, Garden in the East soon and very soon…

How to Float — and Other Impossibly Hard Lessons for Parents

My instincts told me to rescue my son when homework and bad grades threatened to sink him, but he was not afraid. He was not looking for my help. Here’s how he learned to keep his head above water, all on his own, and I learned to just float.

Source: How to Float — and Other Impossibly Hard Lessons for Parents

New Year’s, Zombies, Lamentations

I set out today to write about New Year’s Day and the blank wall it seems to offer each year. I sat and stared at that blank wall, thinking, “Well, there’s that then. Time to get on with the big bright shiny blank new year.”

It’s not really blank, you know. There are variations in the paint, chips here and there, maybe a faded handprint, if I look real close. I might spend too much time looking at it real close, finding the variations, finding the handprint. I forget, in those times of looking close, that the wall isn’t the thing. I stare at that blank wall for a long time, thinking about how to fill it, thinking about what to hang, how to paint, putting in a window or a fireplace. How hard would it be? How expensive? How long will it take? How messy?

When I look into the start of the new year, sometimes it’s a blank wall I see. Other times it is a dark and deep hole in the ground. How deep is that? I wonder to myself. I drop some coins into it. I listen for the plink into water or thud into the dirt, at the bottom. It does not always come. I peer into the dark a long time, waiting for my eyes to adjust, making out anything possible, anything moving, anything bearing just a little light.

I woke up today cranky, and it was not because I stayed up too late, or at least, I do not think that’s the reason. I moved through my familiar shuffle to the coffee pot. I greeted the now fully-waked children, who were already deep into the new box of cereal. I poured out a little prayer as the coffee dripped into my cup. Morning always seems promising. The first coffee bolsters that promise. The “New Year” catches me in a current, and I am riding it– so far, so good. But it doesn’t last, and my cranky mood takes over. What is it? I think to myself.

I know what it is. I remember it now as I sit to examine the sharp tone of my reprimands, the exasperation when I see the stack of dishes in the sink already, the tightness in my chest when, despite my best intentions, I find myself comparing my “New Year’s Eve” to the pictures I see on the computer, my last year to everyone else’s last year. It’s a new year. Why am I still so far from the goal?

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
-Lamentations 3:22-23

After the second cup of coffee, a closing of the social media windows and maybe one more round of “why” I make a slow descent into prayer. I don’t want to go. I’d rather stare at that blank wall. I’d rather stare into the deep well in the ground. It’s astounding how fruitful that promise of the blank wall or the deep dark hole in the ground seems and yet, we both know Henri Nouwen is right when he tells us about the descent into the heart through prayer, don’t we?

“To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all-seing, within you.”
— Henri Nouwen The Way of the Heart

The start of the calendar New Year is a trap for me. It sets up a false expectation that change came in the night while the fireworks went off while the clock hands moved past midnight while my children slept soundly in their beds. Resolutions are made whether I meant to make them or not. Force of habit. Promises, not kept from last year, resurrect like zombies rising, arms outstretched and groaning. Remember me? They say, with voices that are eerily familiar from years of repetition. But it’s a trap. The idea that I woke to a blank wall or a deep well that formed while I slept and that the world somehow “reset” is flawed, at best. I just don’t buy it. I cannot buy it. It’s too expensive a cost because it is such a large purchase every year.

But the descent into the heart– not a deep staring into the dark once a year, but a daily, “new every morning” kind of looking, that’s an investment worth making, no matter what day of the year it is. The blank wall will be there, but great is His faithfulness. The deep dark holes in the floor will open up, but great is His faithfulness. The turning of time on the calendar will continue, along with the many and varied ways I can showcase my failings, but great is His faithfulness. Great is His faithfulness.

“It’s not you, it’s me” Navigating the Waters of Rejection

Soon, I will hit the “send” button on an essay. This is the twelfth submission of this piece. After eleven rejections, my finger hovers over the “send” button– cautious, con…

Source: “It’s not you, it’s me” Navigating the Waters of Rejection

On Living and Dying and Making a Difference

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“I think I’m dying,” I said, and I coughed weakly. My children gathered around me, stroking my head and handing me small squares of toilet paper instead of Kleenex. My oldest got me a glass of water as I propped myself on some pillows. I tried to watch another season of Hell’s Kitchen but it made me hungry and being hungry made me feel nauseated. This sickness is not consumption, though that would be a far more literary way to write about my sick bed. This sickness is just a nasty head cold, a head cold I developed because my children are in grade school, and I just cannot help but hug and kiss them even when they are sick, which is always, because they are in grade school.

All that day I camped out in bed, and I read the stack of magazines I keep on my nightstand. I collect literary journals like some kids collect bottle caps. I line them up on the shelf under my nightstand. I stack them under the bed. I pile them on the coffee table. When the magazines arrive I read them while sitting on the couch, feet up, absent to everything else. On this day, I am reading Ruminate Magazine, one of my favorite journals. It is one of my favorites because of the beautiful work inside, the feel of the thick paper between my fingers, the splash of color of the artwork every few pages.

I might never have subscribed to Ruminate had I not met the editor, Brianna Vandyke at a writer’s conference in Michigan many years ago. I met her while walking through the “vendor” room. She was positioned behind the Ruminate table, smiling. I browsed the sample magazines on the table. They were a young outfit back then, just getting started. I had heard of them through a few other writers, and I had submitted to one of their writing contests. When Brianna saw my nametag, she said, “I know your name! I’ve been wanting to meet you!” and then she came out from behind the table and hugged me. At that point in my writing career, no one knew my name. I had no publishing credits to speak of and in fact, I was still unsure of whether I could truly say out loud that I was a writer.

I subscribed that day. And it was in that generous greeting, that moment of recognition and that small, well-loved journal that I began to form some solid understanding of what it means to create something beautiful. It’s something I still value to this day. Truly, I’m grateful for the work of Ruminate.

Because you might never have come across Ruminate before this post, I’d like to tell you that you also might never realize that they are in a funding crisis. Years of working on this magazine for no monetary compensation have taken its toll on the creators, and they are faced with closing their doors. This post is just to say that it will most likely not cut into your Hell’s Kitchen viewing. It will not keep you from your important engagements. If you have not heard about the magazine, the closing of Ruminate will not affect your daily living so far as you know.

What you don’t know is that the effect of this magazine on creative and talented folks is immense. Letting this magazine fall into the waters and not surface again is a loss that is felt at the deepest levels by people who read and imbibe the words there like vitamins, like minerals, like meat. These words sustain us, they bolster us, they fuel us well and whether you realize it or not, the loss makes us all weaker. The loss of good creative work, deep and beautiful work, wears on our communal immune system. We need Ruminate Magazine because we’re weary and worn down and words matter, art matters.

Will you help? You have a couple of days yet to lend a hand to help pull this powerful force from the water. Subscribe today, give a subscription or just toss some coin in this direction instead of a couple of pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks. Be a part of something foundational and good where art is concerned. Your small contribution makes a difference, I promise.

And listen, if you’ve never subscribed to a literary journal before, consider this your opportunity. Even Gordon Ramsey would agree that work like this needs your support.

Let’s do this thing.

 

The Secret Garden and the Good Body

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I’ve got a new piece up on ArtHouse America this week. This is a version of a bit of the new book, “Garden in the East” so if you’re a fan of literature and you’re a fan of positive body image work, this is for you!

Be sure to check it out and if you dig it, leave me a comment over there. Would love to hear your thoughts!

-Ang

Happy Birthday

I heard a story once about someone who, on their birthday, chose to give presents rather than to receive them. Maybe some of you already engage in this practice. That’s awesome. I mean that.

In light of this and the fact that it’s MY birthday on Friday, I’m going to adopt this posture of giving, and send out  a copy of Nearly Orthodox to whomever is lucky enough to win it on this here GoodReads giveaway-

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Win a Copy of Nearly Orthodox on GoodReads!

Even if you’ve entered on GoodReads before, you can be eligible to win. Give it a shot. Happy birthday to me!

🙂